Monday, March 15, 2010

Hi my name is Becky, and I have OCD.

SO, I've been thinking lately (that might be the first problem) that maybe my obsession with patterns, and numbers, and routine might not be as helpful as I thought.

What initially triggered my awareness of this compulsion is my invoices. Everyday at work i invoice all the tickets, and then staple them. I staple these tickets in groups of 4 in between my fingers, cute i know. My favorite thing is when the invoices are in multiples of 4, so the last group fills my finger gaps perfectly. amazing. Every time this happens, it puts a smile on my face! but, obviously, this doesn't always happen, so when it doesn't i feel like i need to fix it. It now bothers me if the invoices are uneven. silly right?

Ever since i recognized this invoice trend, i started to see other habits i have. For example, i check websites in the same order after my work is finished, and it bugs me if i disrupt that order. Or, as i awkwardly found out, i want the dishes to be done in a specific way... or just cleaning the house in general. I have to search my radio presets from 1-6 and can't go back to 1 before i click the rest (only sometimes on this one) im sure everyone has things they do like this that make them feel comfortable.

Basically, my question is at what point are these routines helpful, and when do they become a burden on myself and others. Am i creating a routine that my creative, spontaneous self is afraid to break? Is my need for these things affecting others, negatively?

am i overthinking the way i overthink things? lol opinions?

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